Ahhhh I miss my Premium benefits~~~~ T__T WOE IS ME
So I'm a big fat liar when I said I'd slowly be making a comeback here on devart. Been slow as shit about uploading stuff I have sitting around even, and I put myself on an art sabbatical because I just haven't been in the mood. It's a vicious circle of suck because drawing helps me be less depressed, but I've been too depressed to draw. And I can't just force it, because then it feels like work and then it's lost its meaning for me. But yeah.... a big part of my depression is frustration over my car being dead... there's been talk of how it could possibly be fixed, but unfortunately I cannot get the people who could help over here to look, so I'm stuck in this limbo of not knowing what to do with it. My car wasn't anything special, but I loved it guys. It's freedom. And it was the last shred of independence I had, so I'm just here feeling really worthless. My parents said if I got a job they would drive me to work until I had enough money to fix my car or buy a new one, but the places I've applied to never call me back... I've NEVER ever gotten a call back for an interview, even where I used to work they basically just hired me because of the good word from my older sister so I just spoke to my boss on the phone and they hired me. And I could broaden my horizon and try applying at more places, but my anxiety is so touchy I can't see working somewhere that I wouldn't feel comfortable, it's a reason why I quit my job after 2 years because I became depressed. :/ But I'm not meaning to worry anyone, I'm in therapy and still searching for a medicine that finally levels me out so I'm getting help.... it's just right now I'm in a really deep funk I'm not able to get out of on my own this time.
But I want to thank you all who have been hanging in there with me all this time.
It means a lot to me, and without all that support who knows what would happen to me. I'm going to try and be more active on here tho, because despite its faults devart really makes me happy, as I've met so many awesome people because of it.
How are YOU guys doing? Feel free to chat at me about your lives, your own struggles with mental or physical illness, how you just got a new dog and they're the best thing ever, something new you've drawn/made that I really need to check out like RIGHT NOW... anything. XD Getting out of my own bubble of emo for even a moment is good.
† Bix †